appalachian trail Archives

Importance of Striving To Not Do Bad (The LinkedIn Campaign)

I’m a 60 year old, retired, somewhat disabled Veteran of our Armed Forces. I’m an Eagle Scout, an Appalachian Trail Thru-hiker (2,200 miles), former Reserve Deputy in the Sheriff’s Department. I am a trusted member of the FBI’s Infragard (White Hat community of cybersecurity professionals). I’ve gone thru the door with joint teams of deputies and US Marshalls to serve warrants for wanted persons while actively working full-time as Vice President and Senior Vice President roles in Fortune 100 and Music Industry businesses. I’ve held Top Secret security clearances, briefed Generals, deployed to War Zones, been injured horribly several times in the field, Graduated from elite schools at the top of my class. I’ve been neuro-psych tested so many times I can regurgitate the tests. (I passed them all, still).

I’ve led teams of people in all walks of life; military, white collar, Law Enforcement, teams so good technically anybody would put them up against any other. I’ve fought for those teams, sacrificed my own rewards and damn near my own career for some of them.

I’ve got advanced degrees in Computer Science and Finance. I’ve had tremendous impact on industries through their early adoption of technology before, during and after the .Com boom. I’ve been responsible for tens of millions of IT budgets and raised well over $100 million in funding for startups. And, I’ve made and lost ($180 million) in four days because deals signed on a Friday don’t last through a Monday when planes run into buildings. That money would have made it harder for me to be a good person so I was never that sad.

Been There, Don’t That.

I’ve worked for a lot of leaders and a few people assigned over me. For the most part, I saw what I would expect, military leaders are rock-solid having been formally trained and raised in a meritocracy and the larger the company most likely the better a leader the Ceo is. I’ve seen a lot of young entrepreneurs who will succeed because they care about the team they picked to get them there, I’ve seen old, wise Billionaires willing to spend their time with younger leaders to impart wisdom (thanks Mr. Eskind).

I’ve seen leaders and some assigned over me who had strategic vision and believe in what we were doing and knew the rewards would follow, and those who money at any cost was the norm. I’ve seen teams of leaders start health care companies with an idea that wellness should be rewarded and it works. I’ve seen new technologies absolutely storm several industries and the success those that can bring.

I’ve also worked for people that no matter what, they thought they should be rewarded because they deserved it. Regardless of the size of the business, the model, whatever, some leaders think they are worthy of what they see others get. I remind them money is the root of all Evil.

My career ended a little different than I expected. What arrogance to think what I expected would play out. Sure, I got to retire mid 50s and hike the Appalachian Trail. Got diagnosed right in the middle as you know if you have read this blog. The 4-5 years leading up to that retirement was one of heart attacks, strokes, dying in transport from one hospital to another for yet another heart surgery, monthly spine steroid injections, kidney stones, falls, seizures and failed leadership assigned over me in dealing with losing their “Tech Guy” when a deal was in the works for what they thought they were entitled to.

The past 5 years since “retirement” was spent trying to fulfill a lifelong dream to hike the AT, progressing with Parkinson’s Disease at a rate so fast it has its own sub-category of research, having an advanced, computer controlled stimulator (Medtronic Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS)) inserted into my brain. That stimulator allows me to walk, talk, eat and sometimes sleep. It has allowed my cognition to improve to a point I am finally done with the brain fog that set in after my 2017 heart reconstruction. And most important, It allows me to remain alive because without it I wouldn’t remain.

I am in all practicality a cyborg. Damn, pretty cool for a “Tech Guy” but pretty damn scary for a Cybersecurity guy. Absolutely terrifying.

Getting to this current state has been quite a journey. As soon as diagnosed with Parkinson’s my Movement Disorders Specialist (MDS Parkinson’s doctor), began the job of finding the right mix of chemicals to relieve my symptoms and help me live better. Those drugs work several ways but essentially you start with some neuro protective drug (rasagiline for me). From there as you progress, and I did fast just like I did the prior three years, they add the gold standard “levodopa”. Essentially a dopamine replacement therapy that makes it past the blood brain barrier. This helps your muscles system “move” and with Parkinson’s you really start to understand what body processes are controlled by muscle movement.

Since I was hiking the Appalachian trail and using more dopamine than usual, my MDS added several dopamine agonist drugs to the mix. These help dopamine hand around longer than normal for use. They also have horrible side effects, interactions with other medications and can cause cognitive and behavior problems. Couple them with anti-anxiety meds for panic attacks and you have one hell of a psychological profile to manage for a Type A, smart, aggressive, trained warrior who was trying to survive. Add in divorce lawyers, bosses that cared more about their own “deals” than their teams, doctors too aggressive with meds and all you can do is get by and try to do no harm. By the way, rantings on social media aren’t’ harm if they are true.

I do believe that If I hadn’t realized the meds were making me crazy and stopping them on my own, I would not have survived. Luckily I did and was able to suffer along well enough for DBS surgery, the ensuing two years of programming DBS correctly and having stimulation turned up so high I am me again. Seriously, I haven’t been this clear mentally since 2017.

I sit here now, five years retired, a life I never dreamed of, happiness, technology that has effectively “cured” me with emerging hopes of stem cell therapy that will make it permanent. I am off all pharmaceutical drugs, my heart has relaxed now that I’m not responsible for success and failure for Global IT systems that failure means stock price deterioration, failed bonuses and I feel great.

I also sit here, an old man, looking back at a great Career and knowing I can hold my head up every single day because I treated people well and tried to do the right thing. My name, my reputation are important to me because my actions are a reflection of Him and He has high expectations for me and YOU.

Be good. Be good to other people. Care about your teams, Reward people and do your damn job and you will be rewarded.

I’m done. BMI needs new leadership. If that isn’t apparent then I’m blind. The songwriters need their interests looked after not the rewards of a public company management team going to a quasi-not for profit monopoly. Want riches, start or grow a company for other rich people, don’t force a deal that sells out almost a century of history.

Oh, and I’ve warned a lot of you in the past, investigate who works for you. It isn’t’ that damn hard. Hell, give me a call and I’ll do it for you. Getting pretty good at OSINT and love uncovering Evil. Special discount to husbands in a divorce. LOL

Seriously, regardless of skill, if a person is of questionable morals or ethics, do you want them leading your teams?

I’m bored, available for speaking events, light strategic consulting, done both a lot. Thinking about a book. Want to read it?

Hike On!

DBS Pictures eeewww look away

What’s Next?

For those few people in the world that have read this blog all along or those just joining, in case you didn’t know, I have Parkinson’s disease and it sucks. Horribly. At the same time, I am still me. The same guy I’ve always been. No matter the “Me” everyone else knows in all my linearly lived walks of life. There is only one person that knows that me, Christi or, as I dubbed her “Georgia Girl”. Her hiking name. She has been with me since day one.

Day one of Parkinson’s Disease. I was diagnosed on June 4^th in 2021. In the middle of a thru-hike of the Appalachian Trial (AT). She was also with me much earlier as an uncertain high school kid who just wanted to skip school, hang out and read books. What a weirdo. That diagnosis date is my new birth date. After the number of different Parkinson’s drugs we tried and their horrible psychological and physical side effects and the suffering from having a fast progression type of Parkinson’s I went through, I have to stop comparing my new “me” to the old “me”. I am gone but through Him, I am back.

Although I have had Parkinson’s for longer than that diagnoses date, at that time I was still very much a healthy, recently retired mid-50s guy just trying to figure out how I was going to burn up the next 30 years or so. I had always planned to “adventure” when I retired. Meaning, hike, travel to hike more etc. Boring? Not to me. I have no idea why. We spend all day tired, hot, thirsty and ready to be finished. We wake up and repeat. A long way from that over-worked, techno genius, IT leader with Global responsibilities that affected stock price and the temptation to continue to pursue. I have come far as Yoda would say.

I knew something more than my normal heart or spine issues was wrong several years before I retired but nothing seriously disabling to worry about how it would impact me longer term. While on my thru-hike of the AT in 2021, I did progress from the benign pro-dromal symptoms of pre-diagnosis Parkinson to full Parkinson’s from Springer Mountain on February 1^st 2021 until I left the trail in June to go to the VA’s movement disorders clinic in Nashville, staffed by Vanderbilt specialists.

By the time I left for that fateful doctors visit, I had already started having dopamine depletion issues, syncope events and increasing FOG. “Freezing of Gait” (FOG) is one of the strangest Parkinson’s symptoms. It has nothing to do with temperature, LOL, but an inability to “take a step, reach for something” while you are in the middle of trying to do it. Your brain will literally fail to signal your body to take the next step. I mean during the transition from stepping down, rolling from hill to toe and pushing off again, it stops at the toe and no forward movement happens. You come to a complete halt like you are frozen to the ground. For me, I also have a momentary “spasm” in thinking everything slows down including my thinking. Slow thinking as a symptom is called bradyphrenia. To me it is a stutter in the dopamine messaging process. And really freaking weird.

Fast forward 4 years, and boy life has sure taken a path I didn’t anticipate. Not a bad one, even with Parkinson’s, but a damn good one. Weird to have that outlook after whining about PD the last couple years, having 7 more surgeries (3 brain, two device chest insertions, two cataract lens replacements with anesthesia, a hernia repair with mesh) for a life total of ~37 surgeries with anesthesia including 16 heart surgeries (Quadruple bypass in 2010, Atherectomy 2017 and heart catheterizations from 24 years old till 2017 at least every other year) and failing on at least 6 more thru hike attempts. For all that, I can’t help but remain happy. More than I deserve, more than I need and evidently, I may survive long enough to learn to appreciate what I have.

Do I over-share? Who cares. My life but maybe my story may inspire, may change or just may help someone else. If nothing else, you will find out more about me and Him. Yes, Him, God the Father, Jesus, our Savior and Him who carries me and has carried me all along. No, this isn’t gonna be a sermon. Those don’t work. We need to see human struggle, feel the loss of loved ones, have our family ripped apart, and sometimes be brought almost to the brink of death and then can we catch a glimpse of how frail we really are and how despicable our own behaviors can be and how much we need Him.

I do credit a life-long “calling” to my current Happiness. Happiness comes with real Love. Love can only be found in Faith in Him and a loving partner to share with. He doesn’t’ create our struggles, we do with our own decisions, the decisions of others we allow to impact us and sometimes just the random events of life. He allows our struggles because of the Gift of free will. We have the free-will to choose but that does not come with a promise in this life but in the eternal life He promises. I just pray my words act as a testimony to that faith and my path. If sometimes you see my human failings, my pride seep through, I ask for forgiveness, not from you but from Him.

So, where are we, Georgia Girl and I and what are we doing. Sitting at Unicoi State Park in North Georgia just chilling. We have our house on the market again. We are basically living out of our RV. No todo list, no pressures, nothing in our way unless we allow it.

Our most recent attempt to go Southbound (SOBO) on the Appalachian Trail was a bust. One day in, we both realized I can’t do it. At least not the way we’ve tried. We decided to stop before we regretted it. Are we done? Probably but maybe not. LOL. For some odd reason, all I want to do is thru-hike. My whole life that trail has been my escape. I’ve hiked since 1974. All the damn time. Three thru hikes and I planned to keep going. Maybe I still will.

Can I physically do it? Probably not in the true definition of a thru-hike but maybe on my own terms. A little electronic help (am I an unassisted hiker if I depend on my brain implant? Hmmm ATC? Not that I care about the Appalachian Trail Conference (ATC) opinion, after all I am a 2020 Outlaw). Not in a calendar year, another ATC definition, maybe. But how could I do it?

Currently, a 6-8 mile walk (or 4 this week) depletes my dopamine to the point that one day of hiking equals four days of rest. Not fun and not worth it. Can I increase the On days? Probably. If you are reading thinking, this guy is crazy and needs to stop, listen? I think what I am experiencing is a condition a lot of people think is normal and that is a lack of fitness. LOL. Literally, since little league sports I do not think I have been in this bad of a fitness state. Comparing how I feel with most of my age group, sorry age peers, it sounds like I am one of them. I guess I am but do believe I can fix it. Just like they could if they wanted.

We are starting a new approach called, “getting into shape”. That means we are going to slow down, rest, take a zero day, rest some more. One or two miles a day for another week. Then push it up slowly. Take into consideration my heart (still strong but mostly artificial) and dopamine usage (natural not meds) and try to get back into shape. I believe I should be able to walk 8-12 miles a day if I am adequately prepared.

If my norm without depleting is 1-2 miles, can fitness improve dopamine use as it can oxygenation of muscles for energy and endurance? That is the question. I might not be able to do a 34 miles day like Hawk but 8-12 miles a day is 220 days, that leaves 145 zero days to finish in a year.

Is that our Goal? Who knows. I want to with all my being. I love the act of thru-hiking, most of the people and myself when the pressures of life aren’t on me. It will have to be about 90 % slack packing. My spine does not like camping any longer. Parkinson’s pulling on a titanium spine really doesn’t like camping, hammock or on the ground.

What if I can’t do it? Who cares. If you don’t try how will you know. If I don’t’ try I will know. Does He care? No, He doesn’t. He cares about my eternal life and how I conduct myself. May my walk honor Him in my own actions and behaviors and inspire some of you to find Him and inspire other’s with what society calls a disability to start living again. I’ll find something else to do or keep failing thru-hiking as long as I don’t fail Him or Georgia Girl.

Keep following us. We plan to do a whole new social media structure to share our journey a little more orderly with great (I’m sure of it) YouTube content. I will keep blogging. Always liked to write, the typing is good for my hand coordination and it allows for a more in-depth look than the social media attention span.

If you are on our Facebook group “Adventuring With Parkinsons”, we will be creating a new page linked to a new account to keep it clean. We will maintain our own personal Instagram/FB accounts for friends but the inspiring (always the optimist) parts will be the public stuff.

I plan to share the good, the bad and the ugly. A favorite movie. You will see me at my best and my worst. Don’t mourn for me at my worst. It is my choice, pain is proof of life and I’ve struggled far more in the past than I ever will in the future so I can take it. Remember that for those of you that hate suffering, He suffered for us all, I am not worthy to even touch His cloak, I can suffer because He comforts me, Want that comfort? Find Him.

Hike On!

Longterm and Georgia Girl

Eddie and Christi Gulley

Some future topics:

My “let’s try all the Parkinson’s drugs” phase of PD. The word is “Mania”
My journey to becoming a cyborg and why this and AI don’t scare me as a Computer Genius (LOL)
Could I be Aubrey de Grey’s first person to live forever? I believe he thinks that person is already alive and being treated with technology that can extend life to the point a cure for aging is in place as a system of therapies. Hmmm
My charmed career and how organizationally subordinate people made me successful. It really is about team work, value, hard work and treating others as you would want to be treated. I miss the teams I’ve been honored to be part of.
How I made $180 Million and lost it four days later. True story and another sign for me of His grace.
Where I see Parkinson’s treatments and possibly a cure in the future?
How I died three times but remain to bug the hell out of all of ya’ll.
How people can think they are good but can’t stop treating others like Shit (Connie and Odie this should be required reading). I pray for them both every day even though as a Person their actions anger me to no end.
Why I believe Statins did more damage to my brain than the chemicals that cause my Parkinsons.
Why I Hate War even though I am a warrior and you should be too. Stop investing our young men for foreign policy. I am still a thinker and my opinion counts.
Why should every successful person stop their careers and seek real life.
Retirement fears of not enough wealth.
Now that transhumanism is here, what cyber risks exist and how will we tackle them as individuals without corporate infrastructure. Anyone in the Penetration Testing world want to lead? I’ll volunteer my “wet” infrastructure. John Strand? Andy Laman? Bueller… Bueller?

I am also available for corporate and organizational motivational speaking. Done much in the past, have more story now, would enjoy sharing.

Remember, Malicious Parent Syndrome is real. It only hurts the child. One day, I pray my own daughter understands life well enough to understand what happened and will allow me to support her as only a father can. Lies are exposed in the Light.

Praise God in the Highest

Whats with the Appalachian Trail references?

If you’ve read every word I’ve written, not that much yet, you’ve seen vague reference to the Appalachian Trail. Why? My personal obsession is backpacking. Specifically backpacking along the Appalachian Trail. I have been hiking the AT since I was about 9 in boy scouts. I’ve kept it up no matter where I was in my career and now that I’m retired, I’ve really gone crazy. I have hiked over 900 miles in 2020 and in February of 2021 I plan to begin a thru-hike of the entire length of the AT. 2,200 miles from Springer Mountain in Georgia to Mt Katahdin in Maine.

In addition to hearing about how I manage my retirement income you will get bored to death with periodic updates on my hiking endeavors. Join along. Maybe it will inspire you to save more to achieve financial independence faster so you can have the freedom to indulge your obsession.

Thanks for reading

Deep dive into the Freedom Portfolio

My Freedom Portfolio is an IRA made up of the rollover balances from my last two employers’ 401k plans. Since I just retired March 1^st, I had a particularly good opportunity to buy in near the bottom of the Spring decline in the markets by rolling over my last 401k in early April. That has solidified my personal projections guiding my retirement income.

I purposely chose my IRA to make public because I feel most people have or will experience a similar scenario nearing and in retirement. Transactions inside this portfolio have no tax consequences so some decisions are easier.

The current market value (fluctuates daily with the market) is $547,040.36. There are 17 equity positions in well known, successful businesses. The current yield based on 2020 projected (mostly actual) dividend income is 5.1%. That 5.1% represents over $28 thousand dollars in dividend income I will receive by the end of this year.

All this income was and will continue to be re-invested for the next 5 years at a minimum. I will start tapping into it when I turn 60. By that time I anticipate the income to grow way more than double its current amount. Stick around and watch it grow in real time as I blog about it each month.

Here are current positions along with market values and projected current year dividend income:

Position Mkt Value Annual Dividend 2020

T (AT&T Inc) $59,013.25 $3,467.38

ABBV (Abbie Inc) $47,219.02 $1,536.24

MO (Altria Group Inc.) $45,138.41 $2,104.61

ADM (Archer Daniels Midland) $15,169.74 $435.03

CVX (Chevron Corp) $22,125.10 $1,086.61

CHCT (Community Healthcare Trust) $2,158.89 $78.40

DOW (Dow Inc) $20,287.03 $612.14

EMR (Emerson Electric Co.) $15,719.78 $408.60

XOM (Exxon Mobile Corp) $10,653.70 $915.46

IRM (Iron Mountain Inc REIT) $30,660.74 $1,241.96

JNJ (Johnson & Johnson) $14,994.54 $398.17

LMT (Lockheed Martin Corp) $6,055.60 $158.87

OKE (Oneok Inc) $134,056.77 $9,553.30

PM (Philip Morris Intl) $48,311.07 $2,109.06

O (Realty Income Corp REIT) $15,641.39 $703.83

RDS.B (Royal Dutch Shell) $34,650.00 $1,514.56

SO (Southern Co.) $25,179.41 $1,013.50

Total $547,034.44 $28,109.17

Looking at the Freedom portfolio one quickly notices that 24.5% is represented by one holding OKE (Oneok Inc). I did not intend to overweight this much in one company and may need to think about rebalancing in the future but right now I am confident in this investment. I have huge capital gains on it, I have huge dividend yields and I feel the dividend is safe, so I am letting it ride into retirement.

The other serious weighting is by industry. The freedom portfolio has $201,485.57 in Oil and Gas representing 38.5% of the total.

I spend a lot of time on this portfolio, following the businesses, listening to the community and right now I am comfortable with these decisions. This portfolio is a key to my retirement, and I like it.

Of course, all these numbers fluctuate daily as the market churns with volatility. A patient investor can look past a 30% market drop like we had earlier in the year and watch their investments rise as it recovers. Whether that takes one year or many years, as long as the dividend is paid, I’m happy. My job is to assess the business as events occur as best I can. Not rocket science but does take some diligence that pays off with multi-generational financial independence.

That is all for now. Ill do one of these deep dives once a Quarter or so. Future ones will allow some comparisons by Quarter etc. They will also give readers a good sense of managing a real portfolio and hopefully motivate you to your own dividend success.

Thanks for reading.